Whether you are just beginning a relationship, or you have been in one for a long time, we all come up against certain, distinctly human struggles and difficulties. Some of these include: hampered communication, escalating conflict, diminished affection and intimacy, a sense of feeling isolated and alone, or simply feeling misunderstood at times by one’s partner. These difficulties often result in one, or both, partners leading increasingly separate lives, even while they struggle internally with feelings such as anger, sadness, loss, rejection, and loneliness. The longer this goes on, the more susceptible a couple is to the relationship breaking up.
Fortunately, there is help. Owing to decades of research, we now have a map of how human love and connection develop. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a highly researched, effective and evidence-based therapy, which can help both partners get more of what they really want out of their relationship. A substantial body of research outlining the effectiveness of EFT now exists. Research studies find that 7 out of 10 couples who engage in EFT therapy move from distress to a close and connected relationship, and approximately 90% show significant improvement. I use this approach, as well as the body of research in attachment theory upon which it is based, so that we can begin to piece together what is getting in the way of your having a loving, connected and supportive relationship.
I will explore the issues with which you are struggling, which may include judging each other harshly or feeling disconnected and alone. We will look at where you get caught in negative relational cycles. We explore and understand these cycles together, as well as the underlying fears and vulnerabilities that are triggered. It is my job to provide a safe and protected space where each person can find the courage to explore these difficulties. My goal is to create a roadmap with you and your partner that will help you move from a distressed or disconnected relationship to a more secure and loving relationship that enables you to thrive both individually and together as a couple.